if you go into the woods today...

lately, my eyes have been sore, so i've stopped wearing my contact lenses. usually, i always wear them, without them, i can't see a thing. i've worn contacts for maybe eight years now. but today, with my sore eyes, i can't. i've been wandering around my house without my glasses either, just to see what the real world is like. i mean, i know what the real world is like, because with my contacts or my glasses i can see it. but this other world, this other, just-as-real world, where everything is far away and blurry, and all the colours seem to have no boundaries is where i am now. it makes me feel disconnected, like i'm alone in a world of shapes that i don't understand. i'm typing, but i can't see the words on the screen. i don't like to be without my contacts because i feel so vulnerable, as though any one of these blurry, bleeding shapes could just out and attack me. sometimes i just sit here in my disconnectedness. being alone. waiting for the assault. i'd like to think that the world with my glasses is the real world, but there's real and there's real. the truth is, i've been running from it for a long time, the real world, or at least my Real World, is one where all the colours bleed into each other, and things can jump out and catch you unawares. the truth is, with or without these little panes of glass, i'll never see it coming, whatever it is.